Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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