Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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