Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
