Im at strip club and am horny
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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