I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
