WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
