Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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