my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
