the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Why is your signature on my underwear?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
