Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
