Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
