We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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