No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
