The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i think im in europe. pls send help
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
