Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize