He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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