Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
