She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
