my vag is so smooth its legendary
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I will pee on everything he values.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Randomize
