Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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