i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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