i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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