May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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