I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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