Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
