So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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