Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize