I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Randomize
