just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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