uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I will pee on everything he values.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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