his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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