i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he thought i was a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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