if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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