What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
