is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
