Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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