is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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