P.S. I can't hear my feet
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
