I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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