You can't motorboat a personality
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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