Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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