I'm so fucking centered right now
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
