I think I died a long time ago.
I look better un-naked...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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