i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
