Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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