The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
