I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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