just come out here and I will go home with you...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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