he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
