I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
