I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
