i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Damn victory sex feels great
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
