their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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