I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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