I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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