barbara walters just said penis...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
