Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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