Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize