ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
