My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
