ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
