how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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