But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
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Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
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To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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