if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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