just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize