I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
50% drunk capacity currently
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
