We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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